I believe we need a mirror to fully know our worthiness. While we can increase our sense of self-worth to completely feel secure, our worthiness of love, belonging, and acceptance needs to be mirrored. In our culture, we are told that this mirror is one person, usually our spouse or partner. That leaves us singles in a bind: How can we get the mirroring that we long for simply because we are human and thus social animals?
Imagine a mirror of an odd shape. It’s a bit raggedy, though sort of round. It seems more like someone put the pieces onto material they found somewhere in the trash. Most people would reject it as imperfect. Yet this mirror’s beauty shows that imperfection can be beautiful. The surface of the mirror is just as odd as its shape. Instead of one reflective piece, it is like a mosaic. There are tiny pieces and there are larger pieces. They don’t all fit together well although on closer inspection, it is obvious that the whole surface is reflective. The areas that do not mirror are almost non-perceptible. Some of the pieces are even colored creating a blue or red or green reflection.
It is a piece of art created out of things most people would throw away: Broken mirrors. Looking into the mirror does not give a distorted view, though. Somehow all the pieces seem to reflect the whole person looking into the mirror, especially when that person smiles. It is as if the mirror pieces fuse together when someone wants to be reflected creating a solid surface made out of pieces.
We can use this mosaic mirror approach for our worthiness mirror, too. Instead of relying on one person, which would be fairly risky anyways, we can notice all the people in our lives who reflect parts of us. Someone, for example, might compliment my dancing. Another might enjoy talking to me because of the thoughtfulness I bring to conversations. Yet another might like my playfulness.
Creating a mosaic creates resilience: Although we value all the people in our lives – and some are very likely more important than others – we do not have to depend on their approval. Every person can remind us of our worthiness as a whole person because they reflect a part of us – and we know that reflection integrates into a mosaic mirror. The mirror pieces might be of different sizes, thus indicating the importance a person has in our lives. They might also be irreplaceable – at least completely. However, one piece falling out of our mosaic does not threaten our self-worth.
Empowerment Nugget: Can you open up to take in all the love and acceptance that is around you? If you stop looking for the one perfect mirror and instead create a mosaic, how does that impact your sense of self-worth?